


mishaps and homework

by perhapssoon



Series: mishaps and homework au [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, High School AU, M/M, More tags to be added, Philip just wants his dad to be happy, Some bloopers at the end, actually not really, alex is done with everything, alex is tired, all of hamilton's generation are teachers, and gets the whole class to as well, as a joke I guess, but they all at least try, eacker likes helping, idk how this works, jamilton love-hate relationship?, jamilton won’t start til like the middle of the story, mostly from philip’s pov, philip matchmakes, pip and his friends love school, when the kids all get invested, wtf they’re all tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhapssoon/pseuds/perhapssoon
Summary: “What’s that you're reading?”“It’s a fanfic, Mr. Hamilton.”“What’s a fanfic?”“A story.”“What’s it about?”“You and Mr. Jefferson sir.  I think you’re getting laid in this one.”





	1. in which philip is determined

**Author's Note:**

> Have mercy on me and read this all the way through. It gets better.

“Ugh, Pops, remind me again why we’re here at 5:30am?” Philip groaned, pushing the classroom door of 706 open with a sleepy grunt.

“I told you, Pip, it’s because it’s the first day of school!  I need to be here early to get everything ready,” Alexander replied, following his son into the classroom, ruffling his hair as he passed the boy.  

“But not this early,” Philip yawned, pushing one of the chairs to a desk and sitting down.  He dropped his backpack on the ground with a loud thump and slumped back in his seat.  "I’m too tired.“

Alexander just laughed.  "Theo is coming over in half an hour.  Mr. Burr called me a few minutes ago.”

“Really?” Philip brightened considerably, back straightening.

“Yep.”  Alexander turned to start organizing the supplies cabinet, humming under his breath.  "You two can go over your schedules again and check out where your classrooms are.  I think it’ll help you find them a lot easier if you know how to get there the fastest.“

Philip nodded, already pulling out his schedule in anticipation. “Will I be able to bother the teachers?”

Alexander chuckled. “If you’d like. I’m not sure how many teachers will be here this early.”

“So you didn’t have to come early!” Philip accused, dropping his schedule onto his desk. 

“You said you wanted to come with me, and I wanted to come early. By that logic—”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Philip pouted and leaned over his desk, sulking. “You don’t have to rub it in.”

Alexander just smirked and turned back to the supplies cabinet.  "I imagine that everyone will rub things in your face as time goes on.  It’s best to get used to it now.“

Philip gave an incredulous snort in response, and his next question made his father stop in his tracks.  "If I find someone you might wanna date, would you want to know?”

Alexander didn’t look back at his son, but his voice sounded an octave higher.  "What do you mean?“

Philip managed to smother his laughter, and replied, "You need someone, Pops.  I’ll find someone for you!”

“N-no, I think it’s fine-”

“I’m doing it, no matter what you say, then!”

Alexander rolled his eyes.  "Then I’ll purposely hate them.“

"But you can’t hide your true feelings!” Philip singsonged.  "You’re gonna fall in love anyway.“

"Who did you have in mind?” Alexander asked suspiciously, looking Philip in the eyes.

His son coughed, and looked away.  "I don’t know yet, but I’ll try to hook you up with one of the other teachers-“

”-that’s not necessary-“

”-and we’ll be good to go!  What do you look for in men? Or is it women? Mom wasn’t clear on your sexuality, but whatever you want, I’ll make it work!“

To his credit, Philip completely understood why his father was reluctant to date: Eliza Schuyler, Philip’s mother, had only given birth to her son; she wasn’t, in any way, married or in a relationship.  While Philip was cute, Eliza wasn’t sure she was ready to be a mom, and had no intentions of marrying any time soon, so she handed him over to Alexander when Philip was old enough.  Maria Reynolds, a woman who Alexander had dated for a while, discovered that she was a lesbian, and Philip honestly didn’t mind her, but he wanted Alexander to be happy with whoever he chose, and he only seemed to feel lust for Maria.  Philip also secretly wanted to pair his dad with some cute dude, just to see his reaction.

"I’m bisexual, Pip, you know this,” Alexander sighed, making a mental note to avoid any other questions, but Philip wasn’t done yet.

“So what do you look for in men or women?  I’ll drag each one in here for your evaluation if I have to.”

Thankfully for Alexander, a knock sounded at the door, and Philip nearly knocked his chair over in his haste to open it.  Theodosia stood in the doorway, eyes bright with laughter.

“You ready to go, Pip?”

“You bet!”  Philip grabbed his backpack and schedule in one swift movement, and was already out the door by the time Alexander managed to wave them goodbye.

“Okay, so,” Theodosia examined her schedule, “I’ve got english first, which is in the 500 wing.  What’s your first class?”

Philip checked his schedule.  "Math.  800 wing.“

"Cool! So, whose class do you want to go to first?”

“English,” Philip decided.  "I’ve got it second period, so maybe we can work backwards?“

Theo nodded, already walking in that direction.  "Let’s go then! I wanna retrace our steps after we figure this all out, so let’s get moving!”

Philip decided not to point out that it was six o'clock in the morning, and they had plenty of time before school started.

“Who do you have for English?” Theo asked, as the two of them walked through the empty hallways to the 500 wing.

“Mr. Jefferson,” Philip replied.  "You?“

"Same!” Theo squealed, her voice echoing off the walls.  "But it’s going to be hard in separate periods.“

"Hey, we’ll see each other during passing period,” Philip reassured her. 

“True." 

The first thing they noticed when they stopped in front of room 507 was that the light inside was on.  All of the classrooms they had passed on the way were dark, so of course Theo had to investigate.

She pushed open the door, letting the shaft of light from inside hit them both, before poking her head inside.  Philip watched anxiously as she looked left, then right, and then smiled. She opened the door wider and stepped into the room, forcing Philip to follow.

Mr. Jefferson, it seemed, had also arrived early.


	2. in which philip makes a discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip thinks he found the right person for his dad. Theo doesn’t think so, but agrees to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here come Philip and his friends.

“Come on inside, I don’t bite!"

Mr. Jefferson didn’t seem that bad; he wore magenta clothes, so Philip assumed that he was a good teacher. No teacher that he knew of wore magenta.

Theo also seemed taken aback by his fashion choice, but the English teacher’s large grin drew her in. Nothing convinced Theo better than a smile. She walked in far enough to let Philip have enough room to close the door behind them. "I’m Theodosia Burr, but you can call me Theo!” she said, her own smile large enough to match the Cheshire Cat’s. "I’m in your first period class!“

Mr. Jefferson stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Theo.” He turned to Philip, who had stayed near the door due to Theo’s initial hesitance. “And who are you?”

“Philip. Philip Hamilton,” Philip introduced, shaking Mr. Jefferson’s hand as well. "It’s good to meet you, sir.“

"Likewise.” Mr. Jefferson clapped his hands together excitedly. "So, what are you two doing at school so early? Can’t wait to get started?“

"You bet!” Theo matched his tone in enthusiasm. "We’re checking out our classes ahead of time!“

"Excellent!” Mr. Jefferson suddenly leaned forward and studied Philip closely. "Your last name sounded familiar. Son of Alexander Hamilton, yes? "

Philip nodded. The English teacher’s delight was infectious; Philip found his lips curling into a smile, partially because he liked Mr. Jefferson already, and partially because he thought he found a potential mate for his dad.

“Are you single?” The question came out of his mouth before he realized it was in his head. Theo gasped and gave him a sideways glare, but Mr. Jefferson, while looking surprised for a moment, started laughing.

“Yes, why would you want to know? Dating tips?”

“Something like that.” Philip decided he wasn’t going to tell anyone about his plan because he didn’t want anyone to try to stop him. Least of all the people he wanted to get together.

Theo was still staring at Philip disapprovingly, but he ignored her. "Like, what kind of people are you into?“

Mr. Jefferson actually seemed to give the question some thought; this raised Philip’s standards of him immediately. "Hmm, I’m gay, so men, I guess? I don’t really know any qualities; I haven’t dated in such a long time.”

“Oh, cool!” was all Philip said, but he wanted to shout that Mr. Jefferson was perfect for his dad, and they should go over to Pops’ classroom right now. Still, he remembered from all those stupid dating books his dad had given to him that you had to take it slow. Don’t scare them off. Maybe that was the only good thing he had learned.

“Okay, thanks for talking to us!” Theo butted in, herding Philip to the door. "See you in a couple hours!“

Mr. Jefferson waved goodbye as the door shut behind them. And the two sophomores were left standing in the darkened hallways once more.

"What was that about?” Theo demanded as they set off for the math building.

Philip just shrugged. "I wanted to know if he was single. That’s all.“

"Are you thinking of pairing him with your dad?” Theo asked, her eyes suddenly twinkling.

Philip’s shoulders slumped. "Yeah.“

"I’m in,” Theo said, turned to gaze down the next row of darkened classrooms, a smile faintly visible across her face. "Sounds like a really good plan.“

Philip looked up, surprised. "Really?”

“Yeah.” Theo walked through the next corner. "I’ll help you. It might be a lost cause, but I’ll help. That’s what friends do.“

Philip didn’t know what to say. He was excited and relieved that Theo would help, and opened his mouth to thank her but she interrupted him. "No need to thank me, Pip. Your dad needs help, and I’m gonna provide him that. I bet if we got my dad on board, he’d-”

“No grown-ups,” Philip said quickly. "Please, I kinda want just students to help because I don’t know how the adult community would react.“

"Fair enough.”

The two walked in silence past the empty classrooms. There were lights on in some of them, but they weren’t on either of their schedules.

“What do you have next?” Theo asked when they had exhausted the supply of math classrooms.

“Science.”

And so it went until it was nearly seven and the two high-schoolers had finished running through their schedule for the fifth time. Even Theo agreed that she was bored, and so they returned to 706. Alexander was on his computer, with the entire classroom already set up for the students to come in an hour and a half.

“Don’t you ever get tired of getting here so early?” Philip asked, trying to peek at his dad’s computer screen.

Alexander purposely turned the laptop away from his son, smirking. “No,” he said teasingly. “We’re coming here tomorrow at the same time.”

“No way!” Philip backed away, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I promise to get involved with your business ever again!”

Alexander tapped his chin, pretending to think about the offer. “Hmm,” he mused. “It’s tempting, but no.”

Theo snorted with laughter, and dropped her backpack on a nearby desk, pulling her phone from the front pocket. “Georges and Frances are coming soon,” she announced, swiping to unlock it. "And Richard said he’s coming when the bell rings because his car broke down.“

Philip pulled out his own phone, and saw Richard’s text in bold, black letters: _Car broke down. Will get to school by the bell. Don’t worry, I’m good._

He sent him a text back: _Good to hear. See you at school._

Theo rummaged through her backpack for a moment before pulling out a pair of earbuds and a book. She pulled up a second chair so it was adjacent to the desk and arranged herself so that her legs were propped up on it. Philip took out a pen and piece of binder paper to try to write some poetry. He wasn’t too caught up with the inspiration, so he slipped his own headphones on and put his music on shuffle.

They stayed like that – Theo reading, and Philip occasionally writing down a few words – until Georges and Frances came at seven thirty. Both sophomores were geared for school, perhaps overly so. High school was still busy on the first day, so when Frances insisted on bringing most of her binders and notebooks to school, Georges humored her by doing the same. What he hadn’t expected was for her to up her game and to bring all of her stuff to school. They had received textbooks a week ago, and Frances would have brought them as well, if Philip hadn’t intervened. He found the whole situation hilarious, but agreed the textbooks were a bit too much. Frances had obeyed rather reluctantly.

"Who’s ready for sophomore year?” Frances yelled, her voice echoing off the walls and into the empty hallways.

The other cheered; they were maybe the only students in the school who actually enjoyed high school and expressed it so enthusiastically.

“Ya’ll know where your classes are?” Theo asked. "Because I’m kinda tired of the layout already.“

"The Great Master Planner Theodosia is tired of planning?” Philip teased. "That’s new, I’ll call the reporters immediately!“

"Shut up.” Theo playfully shoved Philip into a locker. "You know what I mean.“

"If I can say anything, both of us are fine with finding our classes,” Georges spoke up.

“I like the chaos of finding my first class in the moment,” Frances laughed. "Nothing to do with you; you just wanna copy me.“

George flushed. "No, I don’t.”

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

“So,” Frances leaned on Philip’s shoulder, eyes wide with curiosity. "Theo tells me that you wanna matchmake your dad?“

"Yeah,” he replied, pushing his friend off. “Why?”

“We wanna help,” Georges said. "It sounds like something interesting to do.“

"Nah, you just want in because of the romance. You are _so_ like your dad sometimes,” Theo pointed out, and her speculation was confirmed when Georges gave her a sheepish grin.

“Caught me there.”

“And Philip already thinks he found someone,” Theo continued.

“Really?” Frances leaned in; she had gotten her gossip-tuned ears from her father, which sometimes came in handy, but mostly could be a nuisance.

“It’s Mr. Jefferson, my English teacher,” Philip said. "Do any of you have him?“

"I do,” Georges said, checking his schedule.

“Darn, I don’t,” Frances said. "I’ll pop in or something during lunch. See if he’s good for your dad, you know the works.“

"What makes you think that he’s a good match for your dad?” Georges wanted to know.

“I don’t know,” Philip replied honestly. "I just have the feeling that they’ll like each other…“


	3. in which a fight occurs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And over here, you can see a wild Eacker in its natural habitat... ;))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, Imma try to fit in some pheacker? idk, tell me what you think.

School was rather boring the first day, as Philip knew from previous experience, but he wanted to take it in stride.  Math was taught by Angelica Schuyler, Philip's technical aunt.  The entire period was spent with her going over the syllabus, so Philip took one and shoved it into his math binder to look at later.  Algebra wasn't Philip's strongest subject, as he figured that out quickly in middle school, so he mentally prepared himself for a long year of his second year of Algebra, creatively called Algebra II. 

English was great; it went as well as he suspected.  Mr. Jefferson proved himself worthy enough for his dad already, so when Philip found out that his English teacher was as strongly opinionated as his dad, his hopes rose further. The magenta helped.

Science was too boring for words, but Philip managed to stay awake.  His teacher, Mr. Conway, seemed to be more interested in reading at his desk than helping his students figure out the class syllabus.  More than once, a kid would try to approach him, but the teacher would wave them away, eyes barely straying from the text in front of him.  Philip supposed it was better than the teacher being on their phone.

Complaints from the classes came during break, when Philip finally pushed through the crowds of students to find his friends.

Theo seemed a bit uncertain about Philip's matchmaking, now that she had actually experienced Mr. Jefferson in a learning environment.  "He seems really inflexible with his views," she said, and when Philip opened his mouth to speak, she was quick to correct herself.  "I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a great person and a great teacher, but your dad literally acts the same way as him.  They're both stubborn and like to argue a lot, so I don't know how this is going to work out."

"So then they'll balance each other out!" Philip defended his plan, hoping against hope that Theo wouldn't back out.  "Please, I at least want to try!"

"Calm down," Theo laughed, adjusting her backpack so it sat more comfortably on her shoulders.  "I still support it, I just need some interaction between the two.  I feel that would validate it more."

Richard frowned.  "What are we even talking about?"

As Frances quickly filled him in, Georges pulled Philip aside.  

"I really want to see this relationship happen, because I like your dad, and Mr. Jefferson, but I agree with Theo: we need to see how they handle each other first."

Mercifully, the bell rang at that moment, so Philip was spared from answering.  He waved goodbye and was soon thrust into the whirlwind of classes once more.

His dad, thankfully, wasn't too overwhelming with his enthusiasm, explaining  _how wonderful_  it was to write, and  _how amazing_  of a writer he would turn everyone into.  A kid leaned across the aisle and whispered, "So, this is your dad?"

Philip thought about lying, since he didn't know how the guy would react, but he nodded anyway.

"Cool." The kid withdrew and they didn't talk again for the rest of the period.

Mr. Madison had to be one of the most invested teachers for his classes, not counting those who were over-the-top like Mr. Jefferson.  The History teacher's manner was quite the opposite: quiet, cool, and collected.  He answered questions thoroughly, and without a condescending manner, which Philip was grateful for. The class obeyed his instructions almost blindly, which could be a good thing for order in the classroom, but could also be something much worse, which Philip hoped was the former.

When lunch rolled around, Richard and Theo were the fastest to claim the table that they had sat at last year, due to their free fifth period.  Philip and the others soon joined them and they dug into their food, talking the entire time.

"So," Frances said through a mouthful of food, "I checked out Mr. Jefferson--"

"That sounds wrong," Theo butted in, and when Frances glared at her, she raised her hands in mock surrender. "Sorry.  Continue, continue."

"Anyway, I was saying that I saw Mr. Jefferson and he seems pretty nice, but stubborn.  I think he'll be a good match for your dad, you know, to balance him out--"

"Exactly what I was saying!" Philip cried in triumph.  

"Can you guys stop interrupting me?" Frances sighed, although her eyes twinkled slightly, showing she was far from upset.

"Yeah, yeah.  Sorry." Philip bit into his pizza, the cheese stretching across his plate.   "You were saying?"

"Nothing. I just think this might work."

"So both Theo and Georges are uncertain," Philip said with a shrug.  "At least you're on board. Richard, what do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea," Richard said carefully, prodding his slice of pizza with his fork. 

"Do you only say that cause you're best friends?" Theo asked, but Richard shook his head.

"It's good to at least try."

"Thank you!" Philip grinned.  "Glad to hear at least  _some_  people support me!"

Theo laughed and opened her mouth to speak when there was a loud crash in the direction of the cluster of lunch tables behind them. "What the--"

The kid from Philip's class who had asked him about his dad was lying on top of the table, groaning.  As Philip and his friends watched, he struggled to sit up, and another kid darted over to him and pressed him back on the table. 

The sophomores were close enough to hear the second one hiss, "That's for my mom, you fucker."

"Hey!" a voice rang out, and Philip turned to see a group of similarly-dressed kids sitting at a table.  The one who was speaking was wearing a black hoodie and ripped jeans.  He looked extremely bored, even as he shouted, "Get your ass over here, Van Ness! He isn't worth it!"  

"Shut up, Eacker!" Van Ness shouted back.  "This asshole insulted my family!"

"Look, I get that," Eacker replied patiently, "but can't you settle this shit after school?  There are people watching."

Van Ness looked from the terrified kid pinned to the lunch table and back to his friends, who were all in different stages of boredom to interest: some were even half-standing, eager for a fight.

"He can't be this stupid to start a fight during lunch," Theo grumbled. "Where are the teachers?"

Philip cast his gaze around as well, but found no teachers on duty.  "That's weird.  Maybe they aren't here because it's the first day of school?"

"Bullshit," Frances snorted.  "I bet it's because of that whole friend group distracting them so they can pull this off."

"Fine." Van Ness let go and the kid scrambled off the table, running down the halls and out of sight.  As Van Ness passed Philip's table to go back to his friends, they could hear him mutter, "Pussy."

"Hey!" Theo stood, nearly knocking Richard over.  "Just because he insulted your family doesn't mean you can go and beat him up! It's not civilized!"

Van Ness paused to stare at her.  Frances desperately tugged at her friend's jacket to get her to sit down, but Theo wasn't having it.

"Civilized?" Van Ness asked her in a dangerously low voice.  "What do you know about civilized?"

"Only that you don't act it," Theo replied defiantly staring the bully in the eye.

Van Ness chuckled.  "Lemme teach you a lesson on 'civilized,' miss--"

"Van Ness.  Really.  Stop picking fights and just be quiet for once." Eacker had arrived, looking slightly disgusted with his friend's behavior.  "No amount of shit deserves a second glance."

Theo looked outraged, but Georges and Frances managed to pull her back down.

"Yo, Eacker, Van Ness!" one of the boys yelled.  "You done being gay?"

Eacker rolled his eyes, and Van Ness flushed slightly, but the comment thankfully seemed to shut him up.  As Eacker dragged his friend away, his parting words were heard by everyone at Philip's table: "Sorry 'bout that.  He tends to get a bit excited."

"A  _bit_  excited?" Theo looked ready to throw herself at their retreating backs.  "Really??"

"Hey, Theo.  You need to calm down," Frances intervened.  

"Yeah, right.  Calm down." But she sat back down and the rest of lunch continued without any other interruptions.


	4. in which philip gets help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip and his friends decide to actually put a plan into motion with the help of some unlikely allies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm I wanna go for this pheacker but I’m not sure...

French was taught by Eliza Schuyler, Philip’s not-mom. Their relationship was a bit strained at best, but Eliza didn’t seem to have a problem with him calling her ‘mom’ in front of the other students. A few kids gave him curious glances when he raised his hand to ask her if there was any homework on the first day, addressing her as 'mother’, but no one said anything.

Seventh period was a free period, so Philip sat in the back of the library with Frances, devising plans to somehow get Alexander and Mr. Jefferson together in one room.

“I can try to tell my dad to see him,” Philip suggested. "Like, I could say I really like Mr. Jefferson or something?“

Frances shook her head, twirling a pencil into her already-curly hair. "That’s too obvious. We gotta be more subtle. I would say to let it play out because all teachers eventually talk to each other, but that could take forever.”

“Could you somehow hint to your dad about this?”

“He might tell your dad, though,” Frances replied looking slightly frustrated. "Otherwise, I would totally tell him about it. But you wanted no grown-ups involved, right?

"Yeah, but–”

“What are we talking about here?” The kid who had been victim to the lunch incident slid into the seat next to Frances. "Some sort of riot?“

"None of your business,” Frances replied coolly. "We all saw your ass about to be kicked, there isn’t really a reason why you should be here right now.“

"Hey, that was rude!” The kid protested. "I heard what you were talking about, anyway. Some kind of matchmaking going on?“

Philip and Frances exchanged glances before Philip spoke up. "Yeah. I’m pairing my dad with Mr. Jefferson, my english teacher.”

“English, huh?” The kid glanced over his shoulder before asking, “The teacher who wears magenta, right?”

“Yeah,” Philip took a new interest in the newcomer, noting the way he moved, jittery and suspicious, always checking over one shoulder for someone. Philip strongly suspected that the 'someone’ he was scared of was Van Ness. "What’s your name?“

"Nathaniel. Nathaniel Pendleton,” was the reply.

“Do you have any beef with Van Ness and all them?” Frances butted in. “Because if they figure out you’re with us, they might do stuff to us too.”

“Nah, Eacker’s got them mostly under control,” Nathaniel answered, eyes darting everywhere but her face. "It’s fine.“

Frances’ eyes narrowed, but she leaned back in her seat, the chair squeaking in protest. "Okay, whatever. If you blab this to anyone else, though, especially Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Jefferson, you’ll have to deal with me.”

Nathaniel nodded quickly, his eyes wide. Philip knew that Frances wouldn’t really hurt him, it was just the aura she gave off that made people think she was willing to get physical with others. The eyebrow piercing didn’t help. But Philip didn’t want Nathaniel backing out now that he knew about the plan.

“Hey, don’t scare him off, we need him!”

Frances raised an eyebrow, but after seeing the look on Philip’s face, didn’t say anything.

Nathaniel looked slightly terrified but a bit more open. Philip took the moment to ask him a few questions. He actually found more information than he expected:

1\. Nathaniel and everyone else in Eacker’s group were juniors and seniors

2\. Actually, only Eacker, Nathaniel, and Van Ness were juniors

3\. They had a reputation for ruining cars; the principal’s was a favorite target of theirs

4\. Rumor has it that they had sex with every girl on campus (not counting freshmen)

5\. The teachers didn’t like them as much (Philip couldn’t see why not)

6\. Eacker was maybe the youngest, but kept everyone else in line

7\. Van Ness actually hated Eacker and wanted to take over the group

“Woah, woah, woah,” Frances stopped Nathaniel from continuing. "You’re saying that the two that the group joked about being gay for each other actually hate each other?“

“Not quite,” Nathaniel replied. "It’s complicated.“

Frances still looked confused, but dropped the subject. "So we’re gonna have to subtly convince Mr. Hamilton to meet with Mr. Jefferson. How the hell are we gonna do this?”

“How about getting the entire class involved?” Nathaniel suggested, his eye twitching. “It would be more effective and if you get most people on board, you can be open about the whole situation. Then it won’t really matter about what the two think about each other because everyone supports it.”

“But we don’t want to force them,” Frances said, exchanging a glance with Philip, that read, That was actually a good idea.

“It is a good idea,” Philip said, his mind already thinking about how he would get the rest of the class on board. “So how would we pull this off?”

“Just tell them.” Nathaniel seemed more excited now, and a bit more confident. “I’m sure most of them will be interested.”

Philip blinked. “Tell them? But I think Eacker’s in my class and—“

“And what?” Frances looked so enthusiastic that Philip actually was scared of her. “Just do it! We don’t even have to drag this out through the entire year!”

Philip snorted with laughter; the librarian gave him a disapproving stare and he quickly quieted, but his face already hurt from smiling. “You really thought it was going to take that long?”

“No,” Frances replied defensively. "It just didn’t seem that probable that they would get together on their own!”

“Well, now they don’t have to,” Nathaniel replied. "Just get the class in on it and they’ll do the work for you!“

"But what if it gets out of control?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Nathaniel answered, his eyes gleaming. "Then they have all the more reason to get together!“

The bell rang and Theo, Georges, and Richard burst into the library.

"What is _he_ doing here?” Theo asked suspiciously.

Frances and Philip quickly filled their friends in, and Theo nodded, impressed. "That’s a pretty good idea.“

"But what if Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Hamilton actually hate each other?” Richard asked, his eyes wide.

“If they do, then we have to stop,” Georges added. "We can’t force them to be in love.“

"They will be,” Philip said confidently. “I’m sure of it.”

“Sure of what?” Eacker had arrived.

Nathaniel made a sudden movement but when everyone looked at him, he grinned sheepishly, but stayed in his seat. Apparently, what he had told Frances and Philip was true: Eacker was the one keeping his friends from actual gang violence; he was never the one to resort to punches.

“Sure that I can get my dad with Mr. Jefferson,” Philip told the junior, suddenly feeling self-conscious and confident at the same time.

“Mr. Jefferson? That English teacher in 507?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” The girls and Georges seemed wary of Eacker; Richard was staring at the wall, so Philip just assumed that he was fine with the rather imposing junior.

Eacker laughed. "That’s a really crazy idea. I like it.“

"So you’ll help?” Philip asked hopefully.

“Yeah,” Eacker waved a hand dismissively. "Let’s see if we can get them to like each other by the end of the quarter, shall we?”


	5. in which van ness is an asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down and Philip is hella confused about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, pheacker is happening. I apologize.

Eacker wasted no time in telling every kid in the class about Philip's plan, thus putting Operation Jamilton -- which Theo insisted on calling it -- into action.  


Many of the kids in Mr. Hamilton's fourth period Creative Writing class got involved pretty quickly.  One girl even made a google doc for their own fanfictions, and with the entire class consisting of excellent writers, it eventually took at least ten minutes to load the entire document.  


Alexander was completely oblivious of the entire thing; he did notice that the students seemed more involved with their work lately, and had a habit of laughing out loud at random times, but he just assumed that it was because they loved their work.  


He had no idea how much.  


And so the operation was running pretty smoothly when a couple of problems came up.  


The first was the content of the fanfictions.  Most of the kids in the class, especially the juniors and seniors, had exceptionally dirty minds, which was a bad thing when it came to shipping teachers.  Of course, Eacker and Nathaniel had no problem with it, but Theo became concerned with the maturity rating.   


"We need to set some guidelines for this," she told the group two weeks after the plan was set into motion. "Otherwise things could get nasty."  


"I agree," Georges said, "but we can still allow some smut, maybe? So people can still write what they'd like without tormenting others with their disturbing images?"  


"Sure," Theo replied, "but are you just saying that because you like smut?"  


Georges just grinned, and Theo punched him lightly in the arm.  "You totally do, don't give me that look!"  


"To be fair," Philip cut in, "Smut kinda is weird when it involves my dad, so maybe we could write warnings before each one?"  


"Perfect!" Theo looked around the table, making sure everyone was in agreement, before typing it onto the first page of the document.  "Anything else?"  


The second problem was that some kids wanted to tell Mr. Jefferson's fourth period class about the entire Jamilton operation.  Philip wasn't sure on how he felt so he just waited for the other's opinions to come in.  


"Getting more people involved could be good for the sake of the matchmaking process," Richard said.   


"But isn't the entire point to get Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Hamilton together?" Frances asked.  "Not to write fanfiction?"  


"Yeah, it could be to get ideas on how to get them together!" Richard defended his statement.  "Plus, Philip still needs to make a move!"  


"Or we can wait it out," Theo put in. "You know, take it slow for once.  Eacker got the entire class involved and it's getting way too complicated."  


"It wasn't Eacker's fault," Philip said defensively, for some reason taking the junior's side.  Everyone looked at him in surprise.  


"Anyway," Theo opened her laptop and showed them the document.  "We got people fighting over who tops and who bottoms, and honestly, we don't need any more people on this.  It takes fifteen minutes for the entire thing to load and not lag when you type.  To involve Mr. Jefferson's class would be even more chaotic."  


"Are we ever going to set an actual time limit for this?" Frances asked.  "Or is this going to go on forever until we succeed?"  


"Nathaniel already went up to my dad and mentioned Mr. Jefferson, but he didn't tell me how he responded," Philip put in.  “I’m guessing the he didn’t understand what Nathaniel was talking about?”  


“You’re the one who has to break the news to him, though,” Theo warned. “He might not take it seriously if some random kid from his class comes up to him and—”  


There was a sudden whoop, and Theo stopped talking, looking annoyed. “Can you tell Eacker and his buddies to shut up?”  


Philip, assuming correctly that she was talking to him, sighed and stood up. Eacker’s friends were laughing at a computer screen in front of them, that Philip could bet contained some kind of inappropriate joke. Only Eacker seemed unamused, and his eyes quickly found Philip’s in the matter of seconds.   


“Uh,” Philip’s voice came out a bit squeaky but he managed to clear it and start over. “Theo wants you guys to shut up.”  


Van Ness snorted. “Really? That chick who yelled at me for beating Pendleton?”  


“That’s right,” one of the seniors grinned. “And she totally called you out!”  


The guy was silenced by Van Ness’ glare. “Look,” the junior leaned over the table to stare at Philip intently, adjusting the fedora he was wearing so it hung over his eyes menacingly. “If ‘Theo’ wants us to be quiet, she’s gotta come over and say it. I don’t want any wimps talking to me.”  


“Shut the fuck up!” Theo screamed, from where Frances and Richard were struggling to hold her back. “You do not insult my friends!”  


“What are you gonna do?” Van Ness asked, tilting he brim of his hat upwards so he could see her better. “Bitch-slap me?”  


Theo laughed forcefully. “You wish!” she screamed.   


Philip looked to Eacker to see if he would do anything, but the student in question merely looked bored, although there was a flicker of annoyance in his eyes.  


Van Ness turned his attention back to Philip. “You’d be best to leave, Hamilton. Don’t want your friend over there to get hurt because you were too stubborn.”  


“Don’t threaten her!” Philip protested. “She didn’t do anything wrong!”  


Van Ness laughed loudly, his eyes wild. “You think?! You know what? I think you’re the one who deserves the punches.”  


And before Philip could even comprehend what he had said, Van Ness stood up, walked around the table to stand in front of him, and punched Philip in the gut.   


Everything went white and Philip found himself doubled over, retching. He could distantly hear Theo’s scream. He blearily looked up to see Van Ness pulling back his arm for another go. Philip closed his eyes, waiting for the strike.   


But it never came.   


Eacker had caught Van Ness’ punch before it could even get near Philip. Van Ness faltered, and looked at Eacker, recognition flashing through his eyes.  He said something to Eacker, the latter nodded, and Philip took that time to hobble back to his own table. Theo looked horrified; her face was pale and she was shaking.  The rest of his friends weren't that better off.  


"I'm fine," Philip reassured his friends, and although they didn't look convinced, they calmed down considerably.  


Eacker had managed to calm Van Ness down, and as he purposely got the others at his table interested in the computer again, he made eye contact with Philip, mouthing _Sorry_ at him.  


Philip gave him a curt nod in response and turned away.  He wasn't sure how he felt about Eacker anymore.


	6. in which alexander reacts unexpectedly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander reacts to Philip’s questions in a way he hadn’t imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters in one day!

So much happened over the next few weeks that Philip forgot nearly half of it.  But what he did remember were as follows.  


Firstly, Alexander found out about the fanfictions, and he reacted in a way nobody expected.  There was a girl, the one who created the document to be exact, and she had a reputation for being unemotional.  So when she flushed and started giggling during class, Alexander got confused.  


"Catherine, whatcha got there?"   


Catherine turned a deeper shade of red and slammed her laptop shut. "Nothing."  


Alexander grinned.  "It didn't seem like 'nothing', so spit it out."  


"It's a fanfic, sir," she finally said, staring down at her desk, her face beet red.  "Nothing more."  


"What's a fanfic?" Alexander looked completely lost, and Philip hoped to God that Catherine wouldn't answer, but she did anyway.  


"It's a story."  


"About..?"  


"You and Mr. Jefferson, sir.  I think you were getting laid in that one." And Catherine burst into giggles, the class roaring with laughter.  


Alexander still looked confused, but as his student's words sunk in, he actually grinned.  "Ha ha, very funny," he smirked.  "But at least you're writing something, or reading? Anyway, you're doing your work, so I can't do anything about that."  


The class had fallen completely silent, shocked by his reaction.  


"Carry on." And Alexander Hamilton returned to his desk; the matter dropped.   


Philip was left speechless.  His friends all gave him questioning glances, like, what just happened? but Philip could only shrug.  He had no idea.  


On the way home, the incident wasn't mentioned, and Philip didn't bring it up.  


After school the next day, Eacker pulled him aside.   


"Look, I want to say sorry for Van Ness' actions lately.  He's an asshole, but he's never punched someone like that before.  I'm really sorry for that."  


"Then handle him better." Philip's stomach churned; he had no idea why he was nervous and upset at the same time -- shouldn't he just be mad?  


"I know," Eacker raked a hand through his hair, looking worried. "He's been flying off the handle a lot lately.  He has trouble at home, but I don't know how bad it is.  I'll look into it, I promise."

Philip just nodded, his throat closing up. _Speak, you idiot!_  


"Well then," Eacker turned to leave. "See you around. I hope we can still be friends after this."  


_Friends?_ Philip had never considered Eacker as a friend before -- an ally, yes, but never a friend.  


"Wait!" he called on impulse, and when Eacker turned back towards him, Philip suddenly found himself unable to breathe. Why did he always get so nervous around him?  


Eacker was looking at him expectantly, so Philip blurted, "Thank you."  


The junior looked surprised and unused to the politeness, and just nodded and left quietly.  Philip was left alone, with one thought circling through his head: _What the fuck just happened?_  


"It looks like you've got a crush on him," Georges said decidedly when Philip went to him for help a day later.    


"I do not!"   


But even as he said those words, Philip could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.  Theo saw the expression on his face and smirked.  "I think either that or he likes you."  


"I thought he was with Van Ness," Frances said thoughtfully.  


"He's not." Nathaniel arrived at their table, looking exhausted.  "It's a long running joke on whether they are straight, gay, or bisexual, but no one knows for sure.  Van Ness is gay, though.  Not sure 'bout Eacker but he's got a thing coming for him if he says he's straight."  


"He's not straight?" Philip feels a spark of hope ignite inside of him, despite his protests.  


Nathaniel grinned tiredly. "Nah, he definitely isn't.  The fact that he slept with nearly all of the girls on campus doesn't even amount to the way he flirts with the guys.  It's hilarious watching them get flustered, especially if they're straight, but you should see the look on Eacker's face when he does it.  He's doing it for himself because he knows he can never have them in real life, so he's making the most of it."  


"Damn," Richard whistled.  "That's deep."  


Nathaniel gave a tired nod and dropped into the nearest chair.  


"What's got you all tired lately?" Frances asked, leaning forward.  


"The kids in the class all think I'm the one who has to talk to Mr. Hamilton again.  I already did, he's oblivious, no matter what we do, so, Philip, I think you're the one who has to make the final call."  


"That doesn't say anything about being tired," Philip said, searching to stall.  


Nathaniel shook his head, nearly falling out of his chair in the effort.  "They kept emailing and texting me and I have to keep telling them to stop.  And the doc nearly crashed last night, so there was that to take care of too.  If I have to be honest, tell your dad, and see what he says.  Work from there."  


Philip sighed.  "Fine."  


On the way home that day, Philip screwed up the courage to ask.  


"Pops, I was wondering..."  


Alexander looked into the rearview mirror and made eye contact with his son.  "If anyone's bullying you, I swear--"  


"No it's not that," Philip said quickly, his mind suddenly flashing to Eacker's face for no damn reason.  "I was just wondering what you think of Mr. Jefferson?"  


Immediately, his father's face darkened, and for once, Philip was actually scared of him. "Do not talk to me about that man."  


"Uh, why not?"  


"He's a selfish prick who only cares about himself; very stubborn, inflexible, and arrogant.  I cannot take him and his bright magenta-covered ass anymore."  


Philip didn't point out that what his father just said sounded rather sexual, and said, "Really? But I think you're perfect for each other!"  


"Pip," his father sighed. "Thank you for trying to get me to date, but it isn't going to work.  I'm sorry.  I hate him too much to even consider it."  


"Oh."  


That night, he dialed in a joint call for his friends, even putting Nathaniel and Eacker on the line as a second thought.  "He hates Mr. Jefferson."  


There was a beat of silence before Eacker spoke.  "Are you sure?"  


Philip's heart jumped, as it always did around Eacker, but he ignored it. _Focus_.  "Yeah, he said he was too arrogant, stubborn, inflexible, and oh fuck it, what's the point anymore? You guys were right.  They were never going to fit well together.  I tried convincing myself that they were, and look what happened."  


"Pip, it's not your fault," Theo said, her voice confident; it was enough to raise Philip's mood by a couple inches. "It doesn't matter if they don't like each other.  I'm sure there's someone else out there that could do him in."  


"But I want him to be happy!" Philip protested.  "It could take years to find that person and-and--"  


"We'll do it," Nathaniel broke in, effectively silencing everyone.  "We'll do it," he repeated, "and, goddamnit, I'll go down with this ship."  


Philip laughed, despite himself, his friends all joining in.  "Thanks, Nathaniel."  


"We'll all help you," Frances added decidedly. "Until the end."  


"Until the end," everyone repeated, and with consecutive clicks, they all hung up.  


Philip was about to hang up as well before a voice stopped him.  


"Philip."  


_George, goddamnit, I like you but I’m afraid to say it._  


"Eacker."  


"I think we can get your dad with Mr. Jefferson," the junior said. "Meet me tomorrow morning behind the 800 wing. Come alone."


	7. in which eacker actually helps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new plan is introduced and Philip goes all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does this work again?

“You’ve got a date!” Theo laughed as they entered the school campus with Alexander at six.   


“Shut up, it isn’t a date!” Philip groaned, although he could still feel his mouth stretching into a grin.   


“What’s this I hear?” Alexander asked, turning to look at them, eyes twinkling. “Pip, you got yourself a date?”  


“I, uh, it’s not—never mind.”  


Alexander just shook his head at Philip’s stuttering, smiling. “Young love,” he sighed. “I remember feeling that way with your mother. I was teased endlessly by my friends.”  


Theo and Philip exchanged a look before the latter asked, “You mean John, Laf, and Herc, right?”  


Alexander grinned. “Yep. They probably still remember.”  


Theo drifted over to Philip and whispered in his ear, “You know what time you’re meeting him?”  


Philip shook his head. “I’m just gonna go over right now.”  


Theo winked and nodded.  "Tell me how it goes." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.  


Philip stuck his tongue out at her and dashed away.  


Eacker was waiting for him behind room 806, wearing a baseball hat that only added to the mysteriousness of the situation.  


“What do you want, Eacker?”  


The junior shoved his hands into his jacket pockets looking somewhat nervous. “So, with all this stuff with your dad and Mr. Jefferson got me thinking. My mom’s friend happens to love matchmaking and she suggested you set them up on a blind date. It might not go well, but there’s always a possibility that it could—”  


“Are you kidding?” Philip interrupted, and seeing the worried look on Eacker’s face, elaborated: “That’s a great idea!”  


Eacker immediately relaxed, his chill demeanor back, much to Philip’s relief because if Eacker couldn’t calm down, no one would, least of all Philip himself. “Okay, good. You need to run it by your dad first and maybe your friends. I don’t know if your dad is ready to date and, Jesus, I shouldn’t be asking you that. Never mind, sorry.”  


“No it’s totally fine!” The exhilaration of finally getting a plan that could actually go somewhere and the fact that he was actually having a normal conversation with George Eacker made Philip giddy with adrenaline.  “Thanks so much!”  


Eacker seemed a bit taken aback by the sophomore’s energy, but offered him a small smile in response. “No problem.”  


Philip made his way back to the classroom, his smile refusing to go away.   


Theo took one look at him and smirked. “It was that good, huh?”  


Philip blushed. “No, but—” he leaned in to whisper in Theo’s ear. “—he says we can try to set them up on a blind date.”  


Theo pulled away, her eyes wide. “That could work! Maybe get them so they don’t recognize each other? Just, uh, make sure your dad’s okay with that.”  


Philip nodded and approached his father’s desk cautiously. “Hey, Pops?”  


Alexander looked up, pushing his glasses up to see his son better. “Yeah?”  


“What would you think if I got you a blind date?”  


Alexander looked a bit taken aback before chuckling. “That sounds a bit interesting. I’ll consider it. Where is it?”  


“I’ll have to figure that out,” Philip said quickly. “I’ll go call the other person to ask them.”  


And he ran out of the classroom, but he didn’t use his phone at all. He went straight to room 507 and knocked on the door.   


Mr. Jefferson opened it, grinned and said, “What’s up, Philip?”  


“I wanna get you on a blind date,” Philip blurted. “I don’t know how to explain it but—”  


“Whoa, whoa, calm down!” The English teacher laughed. “I’m up to it, doesn’t matter who it is or where it’s going to be, I’m in.”  


“Really? You’re not even going to ask anything?” Philip asked, confused.   


Mr. Jefferson shook his head. “Nope! I trust you, Philip, you’re a good kid, so I’ll do it. No questions or awkward answers needed.”  


“Oh, thanks!” Philip hesitated before asking again, “Are you sure!”   


Mr. Jefferson nodded, smiling widely. “Yep!”  


“Oh, uh, okay.” Philip stood there awkwardly for a moment before saying, “I’ll go find out when it is and come back to you on that.”  


Mr. Jefferson waved goodbye as he closed the door. “Sounds good! Take care!”  


“You too!”  


Upon reentering his dad’s classroom, Philip found both Nathaniel and Frances talking in hushed tones in the back of the room. Theo waved him over to where she was sitting at her usual seat.   


“I already filled them in, so you’re good. Did Mr. Jefferson agree?”  


“He’s fine with everything, he doesn't care where they go or anything."  


Theo raised an eyebrow.  "Wow.  He really trusts you."  


"I guess." Philip turned to Alexander, who was typing furiously on his laptop.  "Okay, uh, Pops?"  


Alexander looked up, a half-smile gracing his lips.  "Yeah?"  


"The person said they don't care where they meet you, so you can choose. Do you wanna do it?"  Philip mustered his best puppy-dog eyes and gave his father a pleading look.  


If it were Eliza being set up, she wouldn't have complied, as she more sensible than both Philip and Alexander, but Alexander was too soft-hearted around his son.  


"Alright Pip, I'll do it."  


Theo looked up from her work, grinning.  Nathaniel and Frances had stopped talking; Frances was sitting on the desk next to Theo watching the exchange while Nathaniel looked slightly out of it, but proud.  


Philip could barely contain his delight.  "Where do you wanna have it?"  


Alexander opened his mouth and then closed it again, speechless. "Uhh, that new restaurant that opened downtown is fine.  I don't really care."  


"Okay! I'll tell the other person and Theo and I can arrange the reservations. You don't have to do any work! We’ve got it covered!"  


Alexander just seemed stunned about the entire situation, so he just nodded, eyes wide, and went back to his work.  


Philip was about to leave the classroom before Alexander called out to him.  "Hey, Pip?"  


"Huh?"  


His father paused a moment before he gave his son the largest and most genuine smile Philip had ever seen since his breakup with Eliza.  "Thank you."


	8. in which philip is surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blind date is a go. Just waiting to see when the place explodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, two chapters in a day! Hallelujah!

“I’m nervous.” Alexander tugged on his jacket and straightened his tie in a fidgety state.  


Philip placed his hand on his father’s shoulder. “It’ll be fun, Pops. I promise. You’ll like them, I swear.”  


“But what if they don’t like me?” Alexander asked. “I don’t want to let you down Pip. You worked so hard on this.”  


“You won’t,” Philip reassured him. “It’s your choice anyway. Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? You guys making a scene?”  


“Yes!” Alexander actually looked frantic. “If this all goes wrong I’ll blame myself and—”  


“Hey! Is your dad ready?” Theo walked out of the restaurant, grinning. “Your blind date is ready to go.”  


“Oh, okay, alright,” Alexander smoothed his jacket, took a deep breath, and walked inside, Theo following.  


They all had partaken in this plan: Theo would lead them to the table, Philip was there to help his dad, Nathaniel actually worked at the place, so he was able to put in the reservations rather quickly. Eacker, of course, was the one who suggested the plan in the first place, and offered tips on how to go about it more smoothly, Frances and Georges came up with the dress code, and Richard was there to lead in Mr. Jefferson.  


As Philip waiting in front of the doors of the restaurant, his friends came from where they had been placed to stand besides him. When Theo emerged from the doors and gave them a thumbs up, they moved to the cafe next door.  


“They were reluctant,” Theo explained, once they were seated. “But Philip, you were the inspiration for them. Neither of them were willing to give up, so they just sat down immediately and gave their orders. It was pretty amazing.”  


“Did they start talking yet?” Nathaniel wanted to know. “Unless they were arguing?"  


Theo shook her head. “No arguing, actually. They greeted each other, sat down, and I left. We can only hope that they’ll eventually get along.”  


“Well, if they don’t like each other, there’s always hate-sex,” Georges grinned.  


Frances slapped his arm. “Ew, you always think about the intense parts. Why don’t you focus on getting them together for once instead of imagining all that kinky shit?”  


“I did,” Georges protested, grinning. “And we got them in the same room together, so that counts.”  


Frances just rolled her eyes.  


“I honestly wouldn’t be too surprised if one of them storms out, both of them storm out, or they start making out in public,” Eacker said, his voice cutting through the chatter. “Both have enough energy to do either.”  


Philip winced, trying not to imagine the third option. “Uh, I’m not really a fan of seeing my dad getting it on in public.”  


Eacker leaned over the table and Philip suddenly realized how close he was. He could hear snickers and whispers from the rest of his friends, but he could only concentrate on Eacker’s body which was _too damn close_. ~~_And_ he was pretty hot.~~  


_Damnit Philip, don’t think those thoughts!_   


“Would you rather we do that?” Eacker asked, raising an eyebrow.  


“I, uh, what?” Philip said in a display of eloquence. He could feel the heat rising his his cheeks. “Don’t you, uh, think you’re a bit too close?”  


Eacker just grinned, laughter erupting behind them as Theo nearly fell out of her seat giggling, and if Philip had to guess, even Nathaniel was laughing at their state.  


“Hey, cut back on the gay,” Frances finally said, her voice choked with laughter.  


Eacker pulled away rather reluctantly, but remained staring at Philip, who discreetly turned away, face red.  


"Okay, so since we actually need to focus here," Richard grinned and looked pointedly at Philip and Eacker.  "what are we going to do if this goes extremely wrong?"  


"It hasn't yet," Theo pointed out.  "Otherwise both of them would've bailed, worse case scenario."  


"Nah, the worst case scenario is that the restaurant will erupt into flames," Philip corrected, hoping his face wasn't too red now.  "Dad's emotions tend to blow through the roof when it gets to be too much."  


Frances whistled disbelievingly.  "Well, I hope it never comes to that.  Sounds pretty bad."

Philip snorted.  "You have no idea how bad.  Last time that happened was when my mom broke up with him.  Not really the best place to be in at the moment."

Suddenly, the restaurant doors swung open with a bang and Alexander stormed outside, followed by Mr. Jefferson.

Everyone at Philip's table stiffened; Richard and Theo half-rose out of their seats, but Eacker pulled them both down.  


"Okay, you know what?" Alexander was yelling loud enough for all passerby to stop and stare. "I tried tolerating you, alright? Philip was kind enough to do this, but my God, you are so fucking annoying!"  


Mr. Jefferson looked slightly disheveled but upset as well.  "Maybe if you learn to keep your mouth shut, this wouldn't happen!  Purposely ticking people off is not a good quality!"  


"I wasn't! At least, at first! You decided to butt in and finish off whatever stupid tolerance I had for you!"  


Eacker looked somewhat panicked, Frances was covering her mouth with both hands, which wasn't a good sign, and Nathaniel looked ready to just hide under the table.  Philip was already rushing towards the two, intent on separating them before things got ugly.  


"Well, that was a lost cause," Georges muttered, staring in horror at the scene unfolding in front of them.  


"We tried," Theo said, her eyes fixed on Philip, who had knocked over at least five people in order to get to the arguing couple. "Their chemistry is wrong."  


A person swung away from Philip's path and cleared the area for a moment before another person stepped deliberately in front of Philip.  


"Going somewhere?" Van Ness sneered.  


"Get out of the fucking way," Philip growled, trying to shove past the junior, his father and teacher's shouts echoing in his ears.  


Van Ness blocked him.  "It won't do anything to try to get involved," he said, and those words struck Philip rather hard. He stopped, and stared up at Van Ness. The junior's eyes were strangely serious.  


"What the hell do you mean?" he asked, confused, all too aware of the escalating fight around him.  


"Getting caught up in someone's love life won't help them," Van Ness frowned.  "I should know."  


"What do you mean--"  


The sound of breaking glass interrupted their conversation and Philip pushed Van Ness aside and rushed to his father's aid; he stopped in surprise.  


Alexander had Mr. Jefferson by the collar against the wall and was kissing him on the lips more passionately than Philip had ever seen.


	9. in which philip is somewhat satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the kiss. Very interesting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!

It was like time was standing still. Philip was frozen between horror and surprise, before he realized this was what he wanted.

If it felt weird seeing his dad kiss someone on the lips, it was worse in public, but Philip was too excited to care.  He turned back to his friends' table and waved.  They all waved back, looking happy for him.  


Some of the people in the crowd were laughing and videotaping with their phones, and when Philip tried to get them to stop, to his surprise, Van Ness and Eacker beat him to it by convincing the passerby to clear the area.  


Alexander and Mr. Jefferson only broke apart when the latter saw Philip standing awkwardly to the side. He said something to Alexander, who turned to face his son.  


Philip took an involuntary step back, when he saw his father's face, but it was soon overtaken by joy.  


"Pip!" Alexander swept his son up in a large hug, just like he used to do when Philip was little.  "Thank you!"  


"Mr. Jefferson's not so bad now, huh?" Philip teased when they broke apart.  


Alexander rolled his eyes, but he was blushing.  "I guess not."  


Mr. Jefferson came up behind them and ruffled Philip’s hair. “Your idea worked, Philip, I’m actually pleasantly surprised.”  


“Well,” Philip turned to grin up at his English teacher. “It wasn’t entirely all me.”  He gestured to the table full of waving teenagers down the road. “I had help.”  


“Oh, of course,” Alexander snorted. “All the times random kids from the class came in during the morning, you were actually conspiring with them?”  


Philip just laughed in response.   


Mr. Jefferson grinned. “Think we should go talk to them?”  


Alexander opened his mouth to argue, closed it, and finally said, “Yeah.”  


Philip snickered under his breath but of course Alexander heard it and gave him a playful glare. “You’re coming with us.”  


And so the trio made their way back up the street. Theo looked slightly worried, but the others seemed nonchalant: only their eyes gave away their wariness.   


“Quite an interesting stunt you pulled there,” Alexander began. “You know, conspiring behind our backs to get this off the ground.”  


“The entire class helped,” Georges added helpfully. “We wrote a fifty page document of fanfiction a for you two.”  


Mr. Jefferson whistled and turned to Alexander. “Wow. Fifty pages? That’s some commitment right there.”  


Alexander looked impressed as well but managed to hold his position as the angry teacher. “What if this didn’t work? What would you do then?”  


“Wait, it worked?” Theo asked, her eyes wide. “Damn, I was not expecting you to admit that.”  


Mr. Jefferson grinned. “It worked alright. But tell us, why get involved with our love lives? If this didn’t work, you guys could get in big trouble.”  


“Yeah, that was my fault,” Eacker spoke up. “I suggested the blind date.”  


“But I was the one who wanted this in the first place,” Philip butted in, unwilling for the blame to be placed on anyone but himself, much less Eacker.   


Alexander squinted at his son. “And why did you?”  


“Because I wanted you to be happy,” Philip said honestly. “And I just chose Mr. Jefferson because he’s a great teacher.”  


“Ugh, the flattery is too much,” Alexander groaned. “Stop trying to make us forget you were involved.”  


“It’s working though, isn’t it?” Philip asked, smirking.   


“Yes!”  


“Good.”  


“So are you guys going to date now?” Frances asked, her eyes glinting slightly behind her round wired sunglasses. “Because damn, that kiss looked good.”  


“Hm,” Mr. Jefferson pretended to think. “I don’t know...”  


Alexander just scoffed.  "Uh, yeah? You don't get to kiss me like that and get away with it!"  


Mr. Jefferson grinned widely.  "I actually think you were the one to kiss me first."  


"But you kissed back!"  


"Hey, uh, Mr. Jefferson," Van Ness came up to the table, grinning.  "Looks like you gotta shut him up again."  


"You're right." The English teacher agreed, and promptly smashed his lips into Alexander's.  


The kids at the table all groaned and made retching noises, and Philip just turned away, beaming.  His plan actually worked!  


On the drive home, Alexander continuously marveled at his son's ingenuity.  "I said I hated him, didn't I? But you didn't stop.  You're just like your old man."  


He reached over to slap Philip on the shoulder.  "Thank you for doing this, Pip.  It's amazing.  Just amazing."  


"It was actually Eacker's idea," Philp reminded him.    


"Oh, yes, your boyfriend, right?"  


"He's not my--" Philip stopped when he saw the teasing look his his dad's eyes.  "Don't get any ideas, Pops."  


Alexander just shook his head and focused on the road, smiling.  "You know, I might have to return the favor.  Maybe get your friends involved."  


"Please don't--"  


"And that random kid who showed up in the middle. Who was that?"  


"William P. Van Ness," Philip answered, thankful for a subject change.  "He was a bully but I don't know what he is now."  


"Oh, that kid who lives at the orphanage?"  


" _What_?"  


Alexander looked at him in surprise.  "You didn't know?  Isn't he your friend?"  


"No!" Philip blinked.  "He's a bully!"  


Alexander stared at his son in the rearview mirror.  "Maybe try to get to know him.  There's a reason why your boyfriend became friends with him."  


"Again Pops, he's not my boyfriend!"  


Alexander snorted in disbelief.  "Yeah, right.  I see the way you look at each other across the classroom.  If that isn't an obvious crush, then I don't know what is."  


"Wait, he stares at me?"  


"Rather openly, yeah.  You never noticed?"  


"Uh, no?"  


Alexander laughed.  "Well then, there's some matchmaking to take care of! I bet I can get all those kids you were sitting with to get involved.  After I read the fanfiction you guys wrote."  


"Don't read it," Philip said quickly.  "I don't want you and Mr. Jefferson to mess up the couch."  


Alexander swerved, nearly driving off the road in surprise.  "Wait, what?"  


"You forget, Pops.  Teenagers have dirty minds."  


"Oho, I didn't forget," Alexander replied, steering the car back onto the street, to the sound of indignant beeps.  "You forget my friends."  


"Laf had a dirty mind," Philip remembered.  "But so does Georges.  He contributed to most of the bondage and other stuff."  


"What?" Alexander made eye contact with his son once more.  "Never mind, I don't think I want to read it anymore."  


Philip sighed, but was unable to hide the grin slowly stretching across his face.  "Yeah, I didn't think so."


	10. in which the author leaves a cliffhanger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last, but short, chapter! Summing it all up.

Philip noticed the increasing amount of knowing side looks his friends gave him whenever he talked to Eacker.  It didn't help.  


Eacker seemed to stare him down whenever they spoke one on one, which didn't help either.  


Alexander was acting weirder and weirder; Philip had hoped that with Mr. Jefferson as his boyfriend, his father would become a bit less insufferable, when in fact, it was the opposite.  


Something was up.  


No one would tell him anything, and he managed to catch a few snippets of their conversation once at lunch, although they abruptly switched topics whenever he came nearer. Things like:  


"Do the old shove them together trick."   


"Trip them!"  


It didn't really take a genius to figure out what was going on.  They were conspiring against him the same way they had against Alexander.    


No one needed to say anything about it, but Philip honestly didn't care whether they followed through with their plan or not.  Secretly, he was hoping they would, so he could actually have a chance with Eacker, who he assumed they were talking about.  


The time came a few days later.  Theo and the others hated being subtle, and so Philip knew what they were going to do before they even started moving.  


He knew he shouldn't have gotten Eacker to tag along with them.  


Before he realized it, a storage closet door swung open, and at least two sets of hands pushed him and Eacker forwards into it.  The door slammed shut.  


"Shit." Eacker scrambled off of where he had fallen on Philip and banged on the door.  "Let us out, idiots!"  


Theo's laughter could be heard even through the door.  "Gotta say your vows first!"  


"Fuck you!"  


"You're gay, so you can't, but if you're feeling the urge, you can do so to that person who is standing next to you!"  


Eacker swore and turned to face Philip who involuntarily backed away.  Even in the dim light coming from the crack under the door, Eacker looked rather menacing.  


"You actually like me?"  


The words made Philip freeze.  "Excuse me?"  


"Never mind."  Eacker turned away to bang on the door again, but Philip, giving it a second thought, grabbed the junior by the shoulder.    


"George, wait a moment."  


Eacker obeyed so suddenly that Philip wondered for a moment if something he said was wrong.  


"You've never called me by my first name."  


"There's a first time for everything, right?" Philip asked, barely daring to breathe.  Eacker was _way_ too close.  


Eacker shrugged.  "Guess so."  


And then they were kissing, and Philip could only think _holy shit holy shit holy shit George Eacker is kissing me._  


And then, _I should kiss back._  


When they pulled apart, both of them were gasping for breath.  


"Hey! It's been awfully quiet in there!" Theo's voice rang out.  "Whatcha doing in there? Taking my advice?"  


"Theo, just let us out." Philip put his face closer to the door so he could be heard.  "We'll show you."  


"Ew, I don't want your grossness near me," Theo retched.  "Keep your sex and kinky shit away from me.  I don't need to be tarnished any further."  


"Theo, you already have a dirty mind, so let us out!"  


"Just let them out," Richard's voice came through rather faintly.  "It won't hurt."  


"Fine." Theo sighed and unlocked the door, letting in the bright sunlight.   


Philip shielded his face from the sun as he stepped out, feeling George do the same.  


"What'd you do?" Frances asked, a knowing smirk on her face.  Philip glanced at George, and after receiving a nod from the junior, gave his friends the largest smile he could muster and promptly kissed the older boy on the lips.  


Someone, Nathaniel, Philip presumed, wolf-whistled, and Frances cheered.  The only one who seemed disappointed was Georges, who claimed that they should go all the way instead.  


And so the first quarter ended, and Philip couldn't have been more satisfied with the outcome of his plan.  Because, if he had to be honest, he didn't actually expect it to go as planned.  Nothing really went as planned, now that he actually thought about it.    


The students eventually calmed down with the fanfics and Mr. Jefferson and Alexander set to reading through them all, no matter how kinky they were. Van Ness finally stopped being an asshole when Philip convinced his friend group that he was fine.  Theo constantly teased Philip about his relationship with George; well, they all did crack the occasional dirty joke and helped Philip a bit with his boyfriend, but Theo went all out with helping George come up with endearing ways to embarrass Philip in class.    


But just when Philip believed everything was going to end happy and cliche-like, things took a turn for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the ending. ;))
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, kudoed, and even read my fanfic the whole way through. Y’all are the best!
> 
> UPDATE: Sequel has been posted! Go check it out!


	11. in which there are bloopers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone messes up. Big time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this might be a bit fun and as a surprise bonus for those of you who stuck around long enough.

** Something With Chairs... **

"But not this early," Philip yawned, pushing one of the chairs to a desk and sitting down.  He missed the chair and landed on the floor.

Laughter erupted behind the camera as he stood up, looking a bit rueful. “Okay, who moved my chair?”

**Take Two**

"But not this early," Philip yawned, pushing one of the chairs to a desk.  He pulled the chair too far and got it stuck between two other desks.  He struggled with it for a few minutes before sighing in exasperation.  “What is up with this chair?”

**Take Three**

"But not this early," Philip yawned, turning to push one of the chairs and promptly tripped over it, landing on the floor again.  He glared off-camera, although a smile was threatening to push past his lips. “Seriously?”

** Single? **

"Are you single?" The question came out of his mouth before he realized it was in his head.  Theo snorted with laughter, and when Philip and Mr. Jefferson gave her half-amused, half-exasperated looks, she laughed harder, leaning on a table for support.  “I’m sorry!” she wheezed, clutching her side. “It’s just-- His face! It’s so hilarious, I can’t--Okay, okay, sorry. I’ll get it right next time.”

**Take Two**

Mr. Jefferson actually seemed to give the question some thought; this raised Philip's standards of him immediately.  "Hmm, I'm gay, so men, I guess?  I don't really know any qualities; I haven't dated in such a long time." 

Alexander suddenly popped into the shot, grinning.  “You will soon!  You won’t regret it either, I hope.”

Philip rolled his eyes.  “Dad! Get out of our scene!”

“You trying to steal my boyfriend?” Alexander teased.  “You have your own!”

“Ew, gross!” Philip staggered away, pretending to look disgusted as laughter rang out around the set.

  


** Too Excited **

"Who's ready for sophomore year?" Frances yelled, her voice echoing off the walls and into the empty hallways.

The other cheered, except for Philip who pulled Frances’ backpack off of her shoulder, and rifled through it.  He pulled out a science textbook, looking accusingly at his friend.

“You promised you wouldn’t bring your textbooks!” 

Frances grinned sheepishly.  “Oops.”

**  
**

** Lunch Mistakes **

"So," Frances said through a mouthful of food, "I checked out Mr. Jefferson--"

“Oooh!” Mr. Jefferson dropped in, looking slightly excited and terrified at the same time.  “You might wanna cut that out of the script, because Alexander tends to get a bit jealous....”

Frances groaned.  “Never mind.”

**Take Two**

The kid from Philip's class who had asked him about his dad was lying on top of the table, groaning.  As Philip and his friends watched, he struggled to sit up, and another kid darted over to him and pressed him back on the table. Nathaniel yelped in pain and struggled to get away and Van Ness immediately let go.

“Sorry, sorry, was that too tight?” Van Ness asked, his eyes wide.

Nathaniel coughed, sitting up and massaging his chest.  “Uh, yeah? What gave that away?”

“Less force next time, William,” the director yelled from off-set.

“Yeah, I know!” Van Ness sighed and walked offscreen, muttering, “I apologized.  My God.”

**Take Three**

"Civilized?" Van Ness asked her in a dangerously low voice.  "What do you know about civilized?"

"Only that you don't act it," Theo replied defiantly staring the bully in the eye.  They held eye contact for a few minutes before Van Ness suddenly grinned.  Both broke into laughter, while Philip and the others looked slightly confused and amused at the same time.

“Gotta get your shit together!” Frances laughed.  “We can’t keep messing up this scene!”

**Take Four**

"Yo, Eacker, Van Ness!" one of the boys yelled.  "You done being gay?"

“No!” Eacker yelled back, grinning.  “Wait your turn!”

Van Ness just snorted, and turned to look at the camera, shaking his head disbelievingly as if to say, _You see this?_

**  
**

** Dirty Jokes **

"Do you have any beef with Van Ness and all them?" Frances butted in. "Because if they figure out you're with us, they might do stuff to us too."

“What kind of stuff?” Nathaniel asked, his eyes glinting.

“Gross, not that kind of stuff!” Frances cried, shoving the junior from his seat.  “Plus, they won’t to me anyway.  They’re not into girls.”

“Then you just answered your own question,” Nathaniel replied, smirking widely from where he had fallen.  “There you go. Problem solved.”

“Ugh!” Frances pushed back her chair and stood, striding offscreen.  “I can’t work with him anymore.  I’m done.”

**Take Two**

"Woah, woah, woah," Frances stopped Nathaniel from continuing.  "You're saying that the two that the group joked about being gay for each other actually hate each other?"

"Not quite," Nathaniel replied.  "It's complicated."

Philip spoke up quite suddenly. “What, do they have hate sex or something?”

There was a beat of shocked silence before Nathaniel burst into laughter.  Frances snorted disdainfully. “You wish.”

**Take Three**

"We need to set some guidelines for this," she told the group two weeks after the plan was set into motion. "Otherwise things could get nasty."

"I agree," Georges said, "but we can still allow some smut, maybe? So people can still write what they'd like without tormenting others with their disturbing images?  I mean, George already does that with literally everyone who wants to use the couch for something other than sex.”

Theo stared at him.  “He does what?”

**Take Four**

“What are you gonna do?” Van Ness asked, tilting the brim of his hat upwards so he could see her better. “Bitch-slap me?”

Theo laughed forcefully. “You wish!” she screamed. 

Van Ness paused for a moment before doubling over in laughter. “Ohhh man, I just thought of something really wrong. I’m sorry, carry on,” he added, straightening up again, grinning.

Theo glared at him.  “What is up with all you guys and your dirty minds?”

**  
**

** Untimely Kisses **

Eacker had caught Van Ness’ punch before it could even get near Philip. Van Ness faltered, and after taking a quick look at Philip, who was still in fake-pain, kissed Eacker on the lips and ran off-set.

Philip ‘recovered’ and raced after him, screaming, “Get back here, you fucker!”

“That’s what I do best!” Van Ness’ voice came back faintly, causing Philip’s friends to start laughing.

**Take Two**

Alexander still looked confused, but as his student's words sunk in, he actually grinned.  "Ha ha, very funny," he smirked.  "But at least you're writing something, or reading? Anyway, you're doing your work, so I can't do anything about that."

The class had fallen completely silent, shocked by his reaction.

"Carry on." And Alexander Hamilton returned to his desk but was met face to face with Mr. Jefferson.

“What the--” Alexander was silenced by a passionate kiss from the English teacher to the wolf-whistles from the rest of the class.

**  
**

** Fire in the Hole **

"Okay, so since we actually need to focus here," Richard grinned and looked pointedly at Philip and Eacker.  "what are we going to do if this goes extremely wrong?"

"It hasn't yet," Theo pointed out.  "Otherwise both of them would've bailed, worse case scenario."

"Nah, the worst case scenario is that the restaurant will erupt into flames," Philip corrected, right when the roof of the restaurant exploded in a fiery ball of flames.  He stared as the sparks dissipated, and turned away.  “I’m going to pretend that never happened.”

**  
**

** Phone Trouble **

The sound of breaking glass interrupted their conversation and Philip pushed Van Ness aside and rushed to his father's aid; he stopped in surprise.

Alexander had Mr. Jefferson by the collar against the wall and was kissing him on the lips more passionately than Philip had ever seen.

Theo raced past Philip and Van Ness, her phone out.  “I’m gonna get this on video! It’s canon, everyone!”

“Wait, Theo!” Philip ran after her.  Van Ness paused, looked in the direction of where the two sophomores disappeared, shrugged and walked the other way.

**Take Two**

“The entire class helped,” Georges added helpfully. “We wrote a fifty page document of fanfiction a for you two.”

“It’s canon now,” Theo reminded him, waving her phone in his face.  Georges flinched away.

“Yeah, it’s canon,” he repeated.

**   
**

** Helping Philip **

"Oh, yes, your boyfriend, right?"

"He's not my--" Philip stopped when he saw the teasing look his his dad's eyes.  "Don't get any ideas, Pops."

“You mean ideas for my own relationship or your relationship?” Alexander asked, and then added, “Oh, I almost forgot.  Don’t sit on the couch when we get home.  I need to clean it.”

Philip sighed and slumped in his seat.  “I’d rather you clean it without me knowing what happened.”

**Take Two**

Philip stopped in front of the closet, waiting.  When nothing happened, he turned to look at Theo.  “Aren’t you supposed to push me in?”

Theo startled as Frances started giggling. “What? Oh, yeah.  Sorry!”

**Author's Note:**

> Huh.


End file.
